night of 8/2/2013

j and a have gone into the water to watch the waterski race. (observers have lined at a rope like at a marathon; the skiers will apparently be traveling under their own power.) there is a father there who has let his young son wander past the rope line and now is having trouble persuading him to come back. gigantic whales begin to crest around them. i call out to ask: are they really there in the water with the whales, or are they just watching them on tv? j doesn't hear me. a is drifting away from her. "papa" i call. j is mesmerized by the whales. i remember that's my name, not hers. "mama." a has drifted out of her reach and is going under. i dive in. a is going down and i swim down after her. she couldn't sink this quickly on her own; something must be pulling her! she is fading out of view.