night of 12/21/2010

1

i am staying in a bed-and-breakfast in a small dusty town. it's two small rooms across the hall from one another, two beds per room. [see: my house/bedroom as a child.] a detective comes in; he mentions he's looking for a fugitive embezzler, the one who's staying in that empty unmade bed over there. that's the bed i'm staying in. i appear to have amnesia. i know he means me. i keep mum. later janine comes--i don't know her, or she me. we take to each other. we plan to spend the next day in bed watching movies together on the little black-and-white TV at the end of the bed. we're getting ready. i don't want to get into the bed because then the detective (across the hall, who can see into the room with both doors open) will see and know who i am.

2

i'm driving on the highway and i have missed my turn. i remember how sometimes i used to do that when i lived in buffalo and i'd have to go over the canadian border, then come back across. fortunately you didn't need your passport in those days. now suddenly this is the mexico border; i'd better stop! i go under an overpass and pull the car over. there is a door in the foundation of the overpass, i go in. there is a woman in a uniform here. she starts speaking spanish. i realize i've entered mexico. a man comes in and i begin explaining my situation; i don't have my passport. the woman is examining the contents of my wallet.

eventually they are persuaded to help me. two toughs appear to help me carry the car into the doorway, down a path and across a stream, and finally up some rickety stairs that arrive at a deck edge that is the border. the three of us clumsily work the car up to the top. the two men jump immediately into a hole in the deck to return to mexico. i look down and see another man hanging by his neck. is he being executed? no, he's masturbating. others are preparing to asphyxiate themselves as well. looks like the beginning of an autoerotic orgy.